Recently we wrote an article on 10 Types of Colleagues We Love and Hate (Mostly Hate), which inspired us to write this article.
How should we deal with a co-worker we can’t get along with or simply dislike? We heard stories about work. A co-worker’s gossip, betrayal, backstabbing or even bullying, these situations happen everyday, right now, at this very moment.
If your working environment consist of united, happy and supportive co-workers, where everyone gets along, you’re really really lucky. However, most of the time, it consist of a co-worker everyone doesn’t like, someone who gets on our nerves or simply finds trouble to complicate things.
It gets worse:
They don’t see a problem with it. They don’t think the problem lies with them.
Truth: encountering and working with difficult people is inevitable.
We’ve to deal with it in one way or another. Most people treat others the way they’re treated (in a bad way), and that’s when problems start arising.
It could be raising your voice or even saying mean things. It may feel good at first, like you finally let it out, but it’s really not what you want or should do.
The good news? There’s something you can do about it.
Learning not to let this individual affect you starts with you making that decision.
Here’re 6 methods on how to deal with a co-worker you don’t like:
1) Be the Kind of Person You Want to Meet
How will you rate yourself as a human being?
As human beings, we’re judgmental. We can’t help it. It takes practice to see the good in others, and not use someone else’s flaws against them.
If you’ve been nothing but nice to this co-worker who doesn’t deserve a single bit of it, you’re a wonderful person. It may feel like the dumbest thing to do but hold on to that thought.
The problem most people don’t realise is you have to start being the person you want to meet. You don’t want to meet someone who’s obnoxious, dishonest, rude and insensitive to your feelings.
So don’t be like that.
If the co-worker you don’t like fits the description, it really has nothing to do with you because it’s about them.
You just need to focus on becoming the person you want to meet in order to attract the same people that share the same values to your life.
When you don’t like someone, it doesn’t mean you have to be rude or hostile with them. By portraying kindness and being helpful, can reduce tension and keep you stress-free.
2) Never Take It Personally that It Affects Your Well-being
It’s okay to feel sad or angry. You are human and you feel things. But it’s not okay to let it affect your well-being or your relationships with your family and friends.
Why are you letting it get to you? Or to put it in another way, why are you getting defensive?
Did you take it personally? Could it be they’re like that to everyone else?
Learn to let it go and move on with your life. You definitely have better things to do than let the negativity and hatred consume you.
There’re people who’ll push the blame or make wrong assumptions about you to make you feel inferior about yourself, hoping you’ll agree and sympathise with them.
What they’re doing is simply taking advantage of your kindness because they know you’ll let them.
Put a stop to that.
3) Sit Down and Communicate with Each Other
Sometimes the best way to clear the air is to sit down and communicate with each other.
Talk to this co-worker and set things straight. However, don’t make any accusation about him and start the conversation in a calm and objective manner. Focus on the problem and don’t let past grudges, personal feelings get in the way of a solution.
If you’re not comfortable to talk to this co-worker alone, find someone both you and the co-worker can trust to be present.
This way, everyone can move forward and find out what went wrong and put the past behind. No one expects you to be BFF with the co-worker the next day, but at least now you guys have reached a neutral state to work together professionally.
4) Avoid Unnecessary Conflict. You’re Better Than This.
Having a huge argument in the workplace could result in severe consequences.
It’s the last thing you want to do. It does no one any favours when both of you start to scream and shout at one another with built up emotions and old grievances.
It’s like presenting free entertainment to your colleagues and a nuisance to your boss. You don’t want that.
And how do you explain to your next employer if you were to get fired from the job?
Before launching straight to the cat fight, talk to your superior about how this is affecting you even after trying to initiate peace with this co-worker.
5) Wait. Are You a Replica?
Surprise! Are you, perhaps, hating on yourself? In other words, what made you dislike your co-worker, is actually your own flaw.
What? No! How is this possible?
Well, take a step back and think about what made you dislike this person. Are they rude? Self-centered? Did they make things difficult for you? Now this is where you identify whether these traits apply to you.
If they do, you need to stop blaming the other person for what you don’t like about yourself. Change starts with you. Your beliefs help you create your thoughts and thus the way you perceive people and situations.
Of course, this is not always true if this co-worker is known to be a troublemaker and is just difficult to get along with.
6) Sense Humour in the Situation
Instead of letting this co-worker be a big deal in your life and causing you to hurt yourself mentally, emotionally or even physically, give yourself a break and sense humour in the situation.
Stop wasting your valuable time by thinking of people who aren’t even thinking about you!
People can behave in unthinkable ways that’re sometimes funny. Give your family and friends a good laugh about it. And before you know it, they no longer have the power to get under your skin once you forbid them to.
By changing your perspective and the way you deal with them, you’ll no longer find yourself affected by their nonsensical acts.
Learn to walk away from anything that doesn’t grow you mentally, spiritually and physically.
Only you are in control your own thoughts and emotions. Everything begins with your mind. Once you decided not to let insignificant people steal your happiness, you’ll never be bothered by them anymore.
Like this article? Share it or leave us a comment below!